Working Through Grief
Grief involves coping with loss. Death, divorce and the loss of a home are all major events that people grieve. While everyone’s experience of grief is different, there are common responses that can be useful to recognize if you are facing a loss. Whether grieving or supporting a loved one, practice patience as you work through this difficult time.
Grief is a natural human response to the loss of a loved one and can show itself in many ways. Grief moves in and out of stages from disbelief and denial to anger and guilt, to finding a source of comfort, to eventually adjusting to the loss.
But grief doesn’t have to be dealt with alone. Across New Jersey, we offer some of the best behavioral health care in the state, with various treatments through RWJBarnabas Health's Behavioral Health Services.
What Is Grief?
Grief is what we feel when we lose something or someone important to us. It is a normal part of life, but everyone experiences it differently. Loss can come in many forms: the death of someone we love, the end of a friendship or relationship, losing a job, or even losing our independence because of an illness or injury.
Many people think grief only happens when someone dies. But grief can come from any significant change that shakes how we see ourselves or our lives. It could be losing a friend, a relationship, your home, or even your job. You might grieve over losing your health, your dreams, or even aspects of your identity like your youth or fertility.
For those facing a terminal illness, grief can include mourning the loss of future experiences and achievements that now won't happen.
The Stages of Grief
When we lose someone or something important, we often go through several stages of grief. These stages help us understand our feelings and slowly find a way to live with our loss. These stages may not happen in order. Some may be experienced more than once. Here is a simple look at the stages of grief:
- Shock. Right after a loss, you might feel numb or in disbelief.
- Denial. It can be hard to accept that the loss is real.
- Anger. Feeling angry is common. You might be mad at yourself, others, or even the situation.
- Bargaining. You might think of "If only" or "What if" statements, wishing things could be different.
- Depression. Feeling very sad and withdrawn is a normal part of grieving.
- Acceptance. Over time, most people come to terms with their loss, even though it still hurts.
Symptoms of Grief
Here's a look at some common symptoms of grief that people might experience:
Physical Symptoms
When we are grieving, our bodies feel the strain, too. Physical symptoms may include:
- Feeling very tired or having no energy
- Headaches or stomach aches
- Sleeping a lot or not being able to sit still
- Eating less or more than usual
- Having a hard time sleeping or sleeping too much
Emotional Symptoms
Grief can make emotions feel like a rollercoaster. One might:
- Forget things or find it hard to focus
- Feel easily annoyed or upset
- Experience deep sadness or suddenly feel happy
- Get really angry
- Feel like they just have to accept what's happened
Grief can affect every aspect of your mind, body and spirit.
How Is Grief Treated?
Grief, a deeply personal and complex experience, does not follow a one-size-fits-all treatment approach. However, various supportive measures and therapies can help people navigate their grief more effectively.
Talking With Family and Friends
Talking about grief is often the first step in the healing process. Conversations with friends, family, or a support group can provide comfort and a sense of community. Sharing memories and feelings can help individuals feel less isolated in their grief.
Therapy
Therapists or counselors who specialize in grief can offer one-on-one support. They use various techniques to help individuals process their emotions, cope with the pain of loss, and adjust to a new life without their loved ones. This might include cognitive-behavioral therapy, which helps change negative thought patterns, or other therapeutic approaches tailored to the individual's needs.
Support Groups
Participating in a group with others who have experienced similar losses can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. These groups offer a space to share experiences and coping strategies under the guidance of a trained facilitator.
Medication
In some cases, if grief is accompanied by severe depression or anxiety, a healthcare provider might recommend medication. Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications can help manage these symptoms, making it easier for the individual to participate in counseling and other forms of treatment.
Grief doesn't have a timeline, and it's normal for waves of sadness to reemerge even years later. Ongoing support from friends, family, and professionals can continue to be beneficial.
Each person's grief is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. People need to explore different options and find what best supports their healing journey.
Personalized Grief Support with RWJBarnabas Health
Each person's grief is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Individuals must explore different options and find what best supports their healing journey. Managing these stages can take time for everyone. Whether you or a loved one are struggling with the effects of grief, we are ready to help.
When you call our Behavioral Health Access Center – which offers 24-hour consultative mental health support – we’ll help you find the proper care. Call 1-800-300-0628 for support services today or to learn more about how we can help you.